No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
