Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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