Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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