just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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