How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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