wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
