That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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