Yo dont text me then not text me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
