So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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