She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
