You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
