What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
