I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
