I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
