and i looked up. we had an audience...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is Oprah even human
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
