Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
