I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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