just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
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Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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