dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
