I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
