nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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