I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
