why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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