she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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