yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
