i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
