i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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