We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
