That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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