someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
