you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
