Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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