This is not my ceiling
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
