Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
