i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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