And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize