apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize