I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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