I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
