i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
