She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
