You're so nebulous sometimes
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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