So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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