I didn't shave. On purpose
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
