Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
