So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your penis caused this!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
