Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
