Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
