Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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