Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
