You work out of a Hotel?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Still dying that you shit outside
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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