oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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