So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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