Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
