ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
