I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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