Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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