I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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