dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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