I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
