The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
