He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She's the barista slut.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
