Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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